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23 Things Men Get About Money

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Men.

Some of them have an (unhealthy?) obsession with football. Others would rather grill out under the stars than be caught dead in a 5-star restaurant. And others would be more than happy to spend an entire day on the boat with a fishing pole in their hand.

All men are different. But most men have one thing in common: a strong opinion about money. They can tell you how you should use it, how they could use it better, and what everyone should use it on.

Keep that in mind as you read these 23 statements about how the male species relates to money.

1. Eighteen holes take four hours and costs $50. Buying a designer purse takes four minutes and costs $400.

2. And don’t $40 purses hold stuff just as well as $400 “handbags"?

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3. The phrase “Watch this!” usually results in a $1,000 hospital bill.

4. Haircuts should never, ever, ever cost more than $20.

5. “Cheap seats” is a relative term. Nothing is cheap at a professional sports stadium.

6. “If I had not [insert moderately dramatic life-changing event here] when I was [insert age between 10 and 18], then I could have made as much money in football as Tom Brady.”

7. If your daughter’s prom date brings her home late, he better have a good insurance policy.

8. We’ll spend way too much on something today so we don’t have to shop for the same thing again.

9. A good pair of jeans costs $30 and has a 15-year lifespan.

10. We kind of, sort of feel like insurance is a rip-off, but we’ll stomach the costs because we know we’re providing for and taking care of our families.

11. The longer you spend shopping, the more you’ll spend. That’s why the ideal shopping trip lasts no longer than 20 minutes. And spending five hours couponing? Will that actually save more than five bucks?

12. We’d rather not admit it, but how much we make matters to us (maybe way too much).

13. Paper plates work just as well as expensive, unused plates that sit in a cabinet.

14. Also, a china cabinet should never cost more than an actual trip to China.

15. Who needs a full stovetop when you have a $50 charcoal grill?

16. G.I. Joes are much cheaper than American Girl dolls.

17. The $200 family photo session with matching $50 shirts? Really?

18. Every man’s wallet somehow has a magical attraction to Home Depot.

19. Beans and rice taste better after they’ve been in a smoker for six hours. And they include bacon. Don’t forget the bacon.

20. Every dream retirement must include a Corvette, a golf course and a Green Egg. Yes, those all cost money. And they’re all worth it.

21. Anything on four wheels is better than a minivan.

22. You can save money on your daughter’s wedding by scheduling it during football season, because no one will come.

23. You don’t need a return policy as long as you have duct tape.

You’re not the only one who celebrates debt freedom with four trips to Home Depot. You see, many guys know that nothing says financial peace quite like a celebratory pressure washer.

Don’t worry, ladies, if you still don’t fully understand how your man’s mind works. We’re sure you can relate to this list much better.

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