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This "we" thing really works, according to a study reported on by Live Science.
The study involves 154 middle-aged and older couples who are on their first marriage. It found that husbands and wives who use personal pronouns like we, our and us when talking about a conflict experience more positive behaviors (like affection), and less stress and anger while they are disagreeing.
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Marital dissatisfaction is more likely to occur when words that indicate separateness (like I, you and me) are used.
Anyone who has been married longer than 10 minutes knows that arguments can turn nasty, even if it is with someone you love. Things can become downright bitter when you are pointing fingers at your spouse and making accusations at them. They'll start to think that whatever is wrong is their fault, and it will make them either get down on themselves, or not want to talk to you, or both.
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When you marry someone, you become a team. You work together. How stupid is it to call yourselves a couple when times are good, but turn your backs on each other when times are tough? Couples who really love one another stick together through the thick and the thin. How you work together on fixing a problem is more important than figuring out the cause of the actual problem.
The "we" behavior shouldn't just be confined to arguments. It must spill over to all the areas of your marriage. When you make a budget or a schedule, you should plan it with "we" in mind. That doesn't mean you do absolutely everything together. It means you think of your spouse and your marriage before yourself. When you operate like that, it solidifies your marriage.
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