Letting Them In on the Secret

A listener is 25, makes $50,000 a year, and is debt-free including the house. When is it appropriate to let someone he is dating know his financial situation?

QUESTION: A listener is 25, makes $50,000 a year, and is debt-free including the house. When is it appropriate to let someone he is dating know his financial situation? Dave talks about that being a function of time spent together.

ANSWER: In a dating situation, the more serious you get and the longer you date, the more you’re going to reveal about yourself. People who go out on the first date and start disclosing their entire financial statement are weird. You also don’t tell about your crazy uncle on the first date either.

But after you’ve been dating a while, and certainly before you’re engaged, you would know everything about the other person. There has to be complete disclosure on every area of your life. That’s called intimacy. You don’t want to have secrets in the background.

As the relationship progresses, the depth of intimacy and the depth of information progresses on all areas of your life. Work that out and you won’t geek anybody out.

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