Get the Brother-in-Law Out

Chuck says his 27-year-old brother-in-law lives with Chuck and his wife. He doesn't contribute anything to the household, and Chuck wants him to move out. He isn't sure how to convince his wife though.

QUESTION: Chuck in Nashville says his 27-year-old brother-in-law lives with Chuck and his wife. He doesn’t contribute anything to the household, and Chuck wants him to move out. He isn’t sure how to convince his wife though.

ANSWER: I think you need to draw a line in the sand and just say, listen, this is not good for him. You’re enabling him. He needs to be a man and stand on his own and get a job and move out.

She needs to understand that she’s not helping her brother, and she and her husband have an issue. That’s a lot more important than what her mother thinks. If her mother thinks the kid needs a place to live, then her mother needs to let the kid come live with her.

You need to sit down with your wife—not with all the other players, I don’t give a rip about them—and come up with a plan that says this, and then implement the plan. The plan should sound something like this: We are not being helpful to him by letting him stay. I don’t want to throw him out in the cold, but we do need to sit down with him and tell him that within 30 days, he needs to get a job, and within 30 days later, he needs to move. I’m giving him 60 days’ notice that he has to move. Let’s go ahead and write that down. We’re going to call that October 1, and I want him out of here. It’s really September 1, but we’ll stretch it a little. October 1 is his last day living here.

Look, dude, you’ve got to step up and take this bull by the horns. If you can’t get your wife on this page, you need marriage counseling.