Taking Care Of Siblings

Angie's sister has a disability, and Angie wants to learn the best way to care for her.

QUESTION: Angie has a 28-year-old sister who has a disability and can’t handle money very well. Angie knows that one day she and her husband will be financially responsible for taking care of the sister, and she wants to know how to help her since she is far away.

ANSWER: It’s very difficult. It has everything to do with what her skill sets are and what you can hand her. You are basically looking for an adult sitter, so get in touch with an in-home care person who looks after the elderly. You can talk to them about providing care. They don’t deal with the law, but they can check on her and make sure that she’s eating and is keeping clean. It sounds like the best deal is selling her house and moving her to your area to give her the best care.

She won’t like it and you won’t like the role, but you have to set it up in such a way that doesn’t destroy your life since you’re providing the care. You can’t jump in a plane whenever she messes up, but you can jump in a car and head across town. Tell her that you’ll take care of her, but do it on your terms. Otherwise, you’ll reach a point where it’s untenable for you to be involved.