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Ask Dave

Move On With Your Life

Roxanne loaned $1,800 to an ex-boyfriend and opened some accounts for him that she contributed money to. He owes her $2,800 and seems unmotivated to give the money back to her.

QUESTION: Roxanne in Ohio loaned $1,800 to an ex-boyfriend and opened some accounts for him that she contributed money to. All told, he now owes her $2,800. She makes six figures and wants this money back, but he seems unmotivated to give the money back to her. Dave thinks Roxanne has paid some stupid tax.

ANSWER: You’re being too nice to him. He’s not unmotivated; he’s a thief. If he could close the account and give you the money, it’d be over. Give you a third of it, right? But he just won’t even do that. That’s not unmotivated. That’s a thief. He’s lying when he says he can’t close the bank account. There’s no such thing as a bank account you can’t close. You make six figures. You’re not dumb enough to believe that.

The deal is this. You make six figures. You somehow hooked up with a parasite scummy boy. You realized he was at some point, and now you’re sure of it. How much energy are you going to put chasing $2,800 when you make six figures given that every time you talk about this guy, poison oozes out of your pores? Isn’t it time to just get on with your life? He’s cost you more than $2,800. He’s cost you another $2,800 or more just in distraction. I think it’s valuable to you to just let him go.

You can take him to small claims court, but the problem is he doesn’t have any money. He has no character. The only hard work this guy will do is to avoid hard work. That’s who you just described to me for the past five minutes. You just keeping thinking he’s going to grow up and be the man you thought he was before you realized who he is. He’s not going to be. He doesn’t even have any of those elements in his genetic makeup. It’s not there. You found a parasite, kiddo. Move on. That’s what I’d do. If you want to take him to small claims court, you can, but I think this is doing more to you than it is to him. He’s not going to get better. He’s not going to change. He’s not going to get it. When you hold his hand, put a pen in it, and you sign his name for him, he barely got those accounts open then. He can’t even put forth that much energy. How much pot does this guy smoke? Really.

You do what you want to do. If I were in your shoes, I would never bring up his name again. I would not let him enter my paradigm anywhere. You are so much on the ball. You have so many bright things going on that you’ve described. I’m so impressed with you except for your choice in men. Just move on.