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Ask Dave

Being Involved With Kids

Dave thinks Joy has some other issues than just not wanting to tie herself down by purchasing a home.

QUESTION: Joy is 39 and newly married to her second husband. They are renting and he thinks that’s throwing money away, and wants to buy a house. She thinks she’ll be tied to the house and won’t be able to be involved in the lives of her 13 and 16-year-old children when they move away. Who does Dave agree with?

ANSWER: Will you move in with your kids when they get married and have kids? Financially speaking, he’s right, you are throwing money away. The more important questions to ask here is not about owning a home. You’ve got some other issues to work through in terms of you and your husband building a future together. Don’t have the philosophy of not having assets so you aren’t tied down. That’s not a good viewpoint to have.

It’s not good to want to control your children’s lives. What will happen if you have three kids living on three corners of the U.S.? You can travel to see them when you’ve built some wealth, and you can do that by doing things like owning a home. You can sell a house; you’re not bound to them. Don’t buy a home in your first year of marriage. Love on each other, get out of debt and have an emergency fund before you buy a house.