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Ask Dave

Getting a Clue

Hilda can't try to make her parents behave with their money; stupid isn't illegal. It may be more about loving them and dropping hints.

QUESTION: Hilda’s parents are not trying to get out of debt. They have a $90,000 mortgage. Her dad plays the lottery and fixes up old cars (using credit cards). Dave tells her that it may just be about dropping hints.

ANSWER: You got the powdered butt syndrome going on here. Once someone’s powdered your butt, they don’t want your advice about sex or money. Your parents don’t solicit your opinion here. The second thing you’re encountering here is you are trying to answer a question that wasn’t asked.

I have family members who do stupid things, and I don’t say anything to them. You can’t make people behave; stupid is not illegal. Love them and drop some hints every now and then. But if you keep bringing up a subject that they don’t want to discuss, they’ll switch off.