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Ask Dave

Get Yourself Out Of It

Peggy's husband thinks that she got herself into help so she should get herself out of it. Dave thinks they need a marriage counselor.

QUESTION: Peggy has $46,000 in credit card debt. She makes $2,100 per month. Her husband has the attitude of "you got yourself in it and you will get yourself out of it". Dave says she and her husband are living two separate lives. They need to live one life and visit a marriage counselor for help.

ANSWER: I think there are other problems here that answer your question overall. You guys are trying to live two separate lives, and it doesn’t work. You cannot continue this way and win in your marriage or your money, in these separate lives. You’ve got to start behaving and he has a valid point, but he also doesn’t have a point because when you got married, the preacher didn’t pronounce you a joint venture; he said you are one.

The two of you need to go to a marriage counselor for help. You are desperate and about to lose your marriage. You have no trust, no respect for each other, a lack of communication, of unity and of shared goals. You need help.