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Ask Dave

Drunk And Immature

Rita is having problems with her husband, who drinks alcohol and then goes on spending money. She needs help.

QUESTION: Rita’s husband has an alcohol problem. He drinks and then spends the money that is budgeted for him to spend, and when it’s gone he withdraws more money. He’s going back on his own commitment to do better with money, which makes Dave raise some serious questions.

ANSWER: He’s not being responsible at all. He’s acting like a 4-year-old. He’s lying and has absolutely no self-control. You’re trying to put up enough walls to make him behave, and that won’t work. You are going to spend the rest of your life trying to cover up holes that he’s digging. The way you are describing this, you sound more like his mother than his wife. It will reach a point that you’ll get tired of this and the marriage will end. You’ve got to deal with this issue, and he’s got to deal with his behavior.

I think you have a marriage crisis, and he doesn’t realize you’ve completely lost respect for him. You need marriage counseling, and it will probably lead to him getting some help with his alcohol problem, and that’s what solves your problem. He needs to realize that he must pull his weight in this relationship.