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Ask Dave

Marriage In Trouble

Even after agreeing to follow Dave's teachings, Michael's wife is doing stuff that might require marriage counseling for the two of them.

QUESTION: Michael’s wife is a free spender who hides it from Michael. He thought they were debt free after paying off $36,000 in debt, but then he discovered more. They talked about it and agreed to move forward, but now she’s running up debt again. Can he legally protect himself here? Dave thinks there’s a bigger issue at work on this one.

ANSWER: You talk about getting together and moving forward, and she’s lied since then? What is her problem … does she have an entire integrity breakdown? What is her freakin’ problem?! There is deception going on here. This is a lying situation and a marriage can’t operate on that. You guys need to get in marriage counseling immediately.

You can put a fraud alert on accounts in your name, and open accounts in your name. You can threaten the bank and say you will prosecute them if she gets into an account with just your name on it. You can do all that, but you’re treating the symptom. I’m going to cut all finances out of her control. I’m going to completely shut her down until we get to the bottom of this, as a temporary measure. This is like infidelity. Take her name off everything and shut her down. Give her cash for groceries while you go through marriage counseling and bring back trust.