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Ask Dave

Hitting The Low Point

Michelle and her husband did something nice for a grieving friend, and now he's misbehaving. Dave explains what is really going on here.

QUESTION: Michelle and her husband gave a friend $1,000 to help pay debt they incurred while his wife was dying of cancer. She is now gone and he just bought a new car. Michelle is angry about it. Would Dave let it ruin a friendship? Dave says no, and explains why they need to cut the friend a little slack while properly helping him.

ANSWER: I wouldn’t let it ruin the friendship. If someone loses their wife to cancer, their brain isn’t working well. He’s medicating his grief. I wouldn’t lose this friendship over that money, but I wouldn’t give him more. I would, though, bring it up if he asks you for more, and get him into grief counseling. He’s probably at the low point of his entire life.