You Can't Make Him Grow Up

Candace wants to know how to convince her husband to plan for their futures and save for tomorrow instead of just living for today. Dave doesn't think she can convince him.

QUESTION: Candace on My Total Money Makeover wants to know how to convince her husband to plan for their futures and save for tomorrow instead of just living for today. Dave doesn’t think she can convince him.

ANSWER: I don’t think you can convince him because the essence of your question is, “How do I get my husband to grow up?” One definition of maturity is learning to delay pleasure. He’s not willing to delay pleasure, which is a sign of immaturity. The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” You guys are going to struggle with money as long as he has this attitude of, “Thank God, it’s Friday. Oh, God, it’s Monday,” and spend everything we make because tomorrow, we die. Truly, that level of foolishness will always have you in stress.

I’m not saying you should never have any good times. I have a lot of good times. How did we get all that stuff? We lived like no one else. We sacrificed. We paid a price to win. We gave up some hours and some weekends and some nights on the road to accomplish some goals that allow us to play at a different level than other people get to play. So we played like no one else, which means we didn’t play. Now we’re able to play like no one else. We drove like no one else, and now we’re able to drive like no one else. That’s what we do. The problem is you’re going to pay a price. Every part of your life, finances included, you’re going to pay a price. You’re either going to pay a price that’s a deep price and then you win, or you’re going to pay the price of never having paid the price, meaning you’re going to live with mediocrity your whole life.

How do I convince someone who says he could die tomorrow and is going to spend everything now and when he’s old the government will take care of him? How do you convince someone to grow up? I don’t think I have the answer to that question. I think you’re going to have pain until he does, though.

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