The Lying Has to Leave

John says his wife opened credit cards in his name. This has been a pattern in their marriage, and John doesn't know how to get her to stop. Dave thinks John has put up with this for too long.

QUESTION: John in New Orleans says his wife opened credit cards in his name. He’s receiving calls about them, and yesterday, he received a judgment against him. This has been a pattern in their marriage, and John doesn’t know how to get her to stop. Dave thinks John has put up with this for too long.

ANSWER: You are a patient man, sir. We would’ve had some problems at the Ramsey house long before then that would’ve caused something to happen.

Lying and hiding lawsuits and borrowing money in other people’s name, which is called criminal fraud, and continuing to lie about it with a 15-year pattern is like way off the perfect scale. That doesn’t even show up in the conversation. The part you’re not perfect about with it is you put up with it for too long.

Listen, dude. You need to go see a marriage counselor today. Find you a good marriage counselor. I was going to suggest go see your pastor, but find a good pastor or marriage counselor to sit down with and bring this to a head. This lady is either going to change or this is going to end. This is called financial infidelity. It feels exactly the same way as if she were having an affair. Why? Because she’s a freaking liar, dude. For 15 years, she has lied to her husband. Now she’s lied about a lawsuit.

Dude, I’m not trying to get you to get a divorce, but I am over this lady right now. It’s time you were. It’s time you put an end to this. You just say, “Lady, you can stay. The lying has to leave. We are in marriage counseling if you’re going to stay, and you’re going to freaking show up and you’re going to deal with your stuff because I’m done with this.” This isn’t going to work, John. You just can’t walk around with no backbone your whole life.