The Arrogant Husband
Julia has $76,000 in debt. She wants to be out of debt in two years. Her husband isn’t on board with the plan. Dave thinks Julia’s husband is arrogant.
QUESTION: Julia in Atlanta has $76,000 in debt including $60,000 in student loans, $3,000 on a car and $13,000 on credit cards. She is making $52,000 a year and is set to make $75,000 in a couple more months. She wants to be out of debt in two years. Her husband isn’t on board with the plan, though. Dave thinks Julia’s husband is arrogant.
ANSWER: He’s arrogant, and that has nothing to do with whether or not he agrees with my plan. I could give a flip about that. He completely disrespects his wife. Nothing that you think is a good idea works; only things that he thinks are good ideas work.
You guys have serious marital problems. Once you solve that, you’ll either be on your own to fix your own debts or you’ll be working together. But there is nothing more beautiful than a married couple who learns to work in harmony. There’s an ebb and flow, a breathing in and out together.
You guys have got to learn to work better together and not just be roommates. That comes partly from him learning to respect you and your accomplishments and your plans. You don’t need to operate this as a joint venture anymore where you pool your money together and then split your electric bill. My daughter does that with her roommates. That’s as much of a relationship as you’ve got with your husband? That’s just wrong.
Talk to him about marriage counseling. All this is exposing the lack of unity and respect you have for each other. It affects everything from the bedroom to your future to your careers and children. I think you guys need to work on your marriage and I think he’s in for a rude awakening before it’s over. I hope he doesn’t lose you.