Student Loan Debt Killing Relationships?

Denise says her niece is considering marriage, and she has $20,000 in debt. Her boyfriend has $115,000 in student loans. How does she come to peace with his debt enough to marry him?

QUESTION: Denise in Michigan says her niece called her with a financial dilemma. She just graduated from college, as did her boyfriend. They’re considering marriage, and she has $20,000 in debt. Her boyfriend has $115,000 in student loans. They’re both going to be teachers, and he’s going to graduate school. She’s job hunting. How does she come to peace with his debt enough to marry him?

ANSWER: I really hadn’t thought about it that much, but how much student loan debt is out there and how unattractive that makes you in the dating market. I just think it’s awesome that she’s torn. I don’t want it to end the relationship. I just never really thought about it from that perspective. I wonder how many people out there in the dating relationship would’ve nixed the deal—before she got hooked, in other words.

If I’m out next week, can you just fill in for me on the radio? That was a home run. You killed it. That’s the perfect advice. That’s exactly what I would’ve told her. You don’t pass up on a relationship due to debt, but you do pass up on a relationship due to irresponsibility, laziness, disorganization ... because these are things that never go away. “I’m gonna fix him.” Yeah, that’s right. Those are the famous last words of people who get divorced. You’re not going to fix anybody. All you’re going to do is marry them.

You’re right on track. I love your advice . It was very well done.