Remember the Golden Rule

Kelly just found out that her husband is addicted to drugs. He’s taking painkillers. Should she stay in the marriage or try to move past this? Dave reminds Kelly of the Golden Rule.

QUESTION: Kelly in Texas just found out that her husband is addicted to drugs, and they’ve been married for two and a half years. He’s taking painkillers. Should she stay in the marriage or try to move past this? Dave reminds Kelly of the Golden Rule.

ANSWER: If you were addicted to drugs and were found out, then went to Narcotics Anonymous, went to a marriage counselor, admitted everything, quit the drugs, and continued to do the things to prove that and rebuild the trust, what would you want someone to do? A lot of things are answered by the Golden Rule: Treat others like you want to be treated. Switch shoes for a minute, and a lot of times, that kind of answers the question.

The conclusion you just came to is a logical one and a good, solid one—something a moral, caring person would do. Addicts are all liars. They’re master manipulators and master liars. It is part of being an addict. What you’ve got to get through to him is that if he comes close to doing something like this again, it’s two strikes, you’re out. You won’t follow him into the sewers, and your marriage vows do not call you to do that. Basically, he is having a love affair with a pill. That’s what an addict is. There’s no such thing as a family that prospers where there’s an addict and you stay in the deal.

Do people get over addictions and marriages heal? Sure. They do it every day. Let’s give the guy a shot, but he needs to understand, “She’s gone.” If he wants to keep you, no more lying, no more cheating, no more manipulating, and no more drugs. I would give it another shot if I were in your shoes.