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Ask Dave

A Crummy Family's Lack Of Boundaries

Jason helped take care of his grandfather to keep him from going into assisted living, and the estate was left to Jason. Jason feels as though he's in an awkward situation with his family now.

QUESTION: Jason in Nashville says his grandfather passed away two months ago. Jason is 32 but the only grandchild still in Nashville. Jason helped take care of him to keep him from going into assisted living, and the estate was left to Jason. Jason feels as though he’s in an awkward situation now with his family members. Dave doesn’t like the attitude of Jason’s family.

ANSWER: Did you love grandfather? Then why don’t you do what he said instead of what they say? It was his money. It wasn’t theirs. They need to shut the crap up.

You need to learn to be an investor with the money and make sure you’re debt-free. You have your emergency fund in place. Start your mutual fund investing and learn some basic investment traits. But I’m not nearly as concerned about that (in this conversation) as I am your crummy family’s lack of boundaries. You don’t need to make excuses. They’re butts. You don’t have any excuses to make. You didn’t do anything wrong. If they want to be mad at somebody, they need to be mad at Grandpa, because he’s the one who decided he didn’t want to leave them any of his money. And by the way, it was his. He gets to decide that.

Let’s have a will and run it through probate. That’s fine. If they want to contest the will, they can try to contest the will. And I’ll spend the money fighting them because Grandpa left what Grandpa left. It’s his money. He gets to decide. They’re not entitled to this money because they freaking breathe air. It’s not theirs. I can choose to leave my direct children out of the will and leave it to my dog if I want to. It’s my money! It is not their money! Fight ‘em.