Getting The Intensity Back
Amanda is tired of dealing with finances and wants to get the intensity she and her husband had back. How does she start feeling like there's an end to this constant debt snowball?
QUESTION: Amanda in Madison and her husband have paid $120,000 in debt down to $40,000 making about $60,000 a year. They have two young children. Amanda is tired of dealing with finances and wants to get the intensity they had back. How does she start feeling like there’s an end to this constant debt snowball?
ANSWER: You’ve made $80,000 in progress. You sound haggard, like you just ran out of steam, and the financial thing is just part of that. It’s hard being a mom with young kids. That, in and of itself, is emotionally draining. Then you add in the fact that you’ve been intense about the budget. It’s a lot.
I think you need to make a schedule every week and put three things on it. Your husband needs to help you with all three of these. The first thing is to schedule an hour for you. No kids, no husband and no TV. Read your Bible or go for a walk, but he helps you take care of that.
The second thing on the schedule is a date night. Get a babysitter and get away from the children. Work on your marriage and on your relationship. The third thing that needs to be on there each week is an hour for budgeting. Ask him to be the proactive energy to make sure that all three of these things happen.
I think if you get some time on your marriage and some time on yourself and a game plan where he is helping you carry more, your energy is going to come back. I think you’re just beat up and tired. That just makes you human.
Mathematically you’ve got good traction and that should give you encouragement. If we pour encouragement into a vessel with holes in it, it just seeps back out. That’s kind of where you are right now. You have to maintain a process that allows you to get to the finish line alive. You just had an Eeyore moment, and then you put your chin up and keep going.