Why Does She Prefer Private School?
Richard and his wife agreed to move once their kids were ready for high school, but now she doesn't want to move. Dave advises Richard to find out why she's fixated on this private school.
QUESTION: Richard in New York City says his oldest son was just accepted to an $8,500-a-year Catholic high school. His middle son goes to a Catholic grammar school. They agreed to move once their kids were ready for high school, but now she doesn’t want to move. Dave advises Richard to find out why she’s fixated on this school.
ANSWER: Let’s sit down with her and talk this through. If I’m you, the way you want to do this is you want to learn why she’s fixated on this school versus the old plan of moving to a district that’s acceptable. There are three good reasons to go to this Catholic school. One would be the religious aspect because you want a good Catholic education if you’re a good Catholic. The second would be safety—literally physical safety—versus going to some really rough deal or something. The third reason would be the quality of the education. If you can get safety and the quality of the education in the public school and handle the spiritual walk at home, then you’re going to be fine.
You’ve got to talk that through because there is no correlation, no piece of evidence, no research out there that says that people who go to private high schools beat people in the marketplace or beat them in college versus people who go to quality public schools. I did put the word “quality” in front of it, and not all public schools are quality. Not all private schools are quality either. Assuming you’ve got a quality public school, I want to learn from her what her big objection is, and then that might be worth $8,000 for your family, but you’re going to have to get on a written budget. If you’ll learn from her what her concerns are, then you know how to discuss this more intelligently—less of just a big-time fight.