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Ask Dave

When The Free Spirit Isn't Interested

One listener doesn't know what to do when the free spirit wants to just leave the budget to the nerd.

QUESTION: Listener wants to know what to do if the free spirit isn’t interested in budget meetings and leaves it all to the nerd.

ANSWER: It’s not going to work because you’re not going to get cooperation. You cannot out-systemitize a spender. They will tear it down as fast as you build it up. They have to at least be interested enough to voice their opinion in a budget meeting. The people who have a financial plan that doesn’t work and a marriage that struggles are the ones that say ‘whatever you want to do, honey.’

The free spirit ends up getting tired of being controlled by the nerd, and the nerd gets tired of making all the grown-up decisions by themselves and cleaning up the messes. You need two adults who will work together on the game plan, and then the nerd can execute on it. Having the ‘we’ do it is the way to operate a budget and a marriage.