Trish has $84,000 in debt on her husband’s boat and their vehicles. They will take a loss on one of the vehicles and the boat. How can she keep him on board without arguing about the sacrifices?
QUESTION: Trish in Shreveport has $84,000 in debt on her husband’s boat and their vehicles. They will take a loss on one of the vehicles and the boat. How can she keep him on board without arguing about the sacrifices? Dave tells Trish he has to grasp that this is about more than payments.
ANSWER: These three vehicles represent insanity. You’re not going to get past fighting about this until it becomes his idea, too. That’s the answer to your question. We have to help him be this idea. In other words, he’s got to be grown up enough to realize this stuff is ridiculous. He’s not on board or he wouldn’t be carping about it.
Hey, listen, I’ve got two boats. I love boats. I get it. If someone came in here right now and told me I’d have to sell my boats, we’d have a problem. I grasp that idea. But I also grasp that your financial future making $150,000 a year looks bankrupt because you’ve been stupid on what you’ve been buying and you’ve got to stop that. It’s time to be grown ups. He needs to grasp that this is for living like no one else so that later he can live like no one else.
The “what” is sell the cars because we’re deeply in debt. We have to spend more time on the why. You make too much money to be this stinking broke. If you were out of debt, you could save up and pay cash and have a nice car. He’s not grasping the “why,” and you’re spending too much time on the “how” and the “what.” Spend more time on the “why.” Let’s dream together. What would it be like to have no payments? What would it be like to make this kind of money and look up and have $50,000 cash in the bank? Fill in the blanks and dream together. The only way I’m going to lose weight is if I want to lose weight, not if my wife wants me to lose weight. The only way I’m going to run a marathon is if I want to run a marathon, not because somebody else thinks it’s a good idea. You’ve got to own your own goals. Otherwise, you do carp about them all the time. They’re not a goal; they’re a quota. A spouse-induced quota is a coma. Don’t live that way.