Dating And The Budget

Paula wants to know how to gracefully mention budgeting and finances when she's on a date. Dave doesn't recommend bringing it up on the first date.

QUESTION: Paula in Oregon from My Total Money Makeover wants to know how to gracefully mention budgeting and finances when she's on a date. Dave doesn't recommend bringing it up on the first date.

ANSWER: If I'm a guy and I'm on a date with a girl and the very first thing out of her mouth is she wants to start talking about money, I don't think that's probably going to be known as attractive. It could be a little weird, actually. Certainly, as the relationship grows—if we would call it a relationship—then we start talking about more things in life to see where people stand. The first date's like a drive-by, right? We're just seeing if there's any interest here.

I think as you start talking about more serious subjects because there's enough of a basis for a relationship, then you start bringing it up. The deeper the relationship goes, the deeper into that stuff you get to find out what somebody makes. But I think if you go out on a date and you ask somebody, "Hey, what do you make?" the first night, that would officially make you weird. "How much debt do you have?" or "How's your debt snowball?" I'm thinking that's weird. Manners, in other words. It's an old-fashioned word. You don't hear that much anymore, do you?